Illusion – a trap unconsciously created out of weird feelings

It is so weird. Feelings are very good. You seem to be high all the time. Even without drugs! Oh yeah, coke is nothing compared to this. Smile all u want with no reason at all. Dream all u want in the afternoon when the sun is ragingly shining.

Now you’re starting to create scenes on your mind. Everything said and done means a lot to you. Even small things are magnified into something bigger and deeper. You are important! Yeah, the feelings tell you that.

Imagination is taking over you and you don’t even know it. You don’t realize ILLUSION is taking over. To continue feeling good we continue to believe on the things we somehow want to believe. We are overwhelmed! So much that we forget if all these things are real. But then HEY COME ON! Am I not supposed to feel good and happy about myself? Of course we all deserve to be happy and be on the uphill of our lives. The question is “are we feeling happiness from real things or real situations?” OR we are merely creating things better in our minds so we can feel good and happy?

Illusion is a monster. Illusion is a trap. The more we stay in it the deeper we fall. Feelings are dangerous human weakness that can lead us to this trap. When we fail to accept real things as they are because we don’t want to feel pain, then we are pushing our own self into such trap. Denial leads to trap.

Life is about real things and real situations. Reality includes pain and difficulties. Embrace life as it is. Stay in the real world, feel the pain, accept it, learn from it, and move on. That’s how we should live. No Illusion.

Life is full of natural signs. If we will just open our eyes, pay attention to them and use our common sense then life will be easier. Falling into the trap of illusion may not be happening after all.

my name is Shirley and i am a Christian!!

My name is Shirley and i am a Christian!

I was born a catholic christian. My parents chose it for me and i did'nt even had a chance of refusing and saying "hey come on! dont u wanna ask me first!". Hehehe.. cuz how can u expect a baby to choose?

As i grew up, i was doing what i thought a real christian should be doing. I guess i perceived it as pretty normal to go to church every sunday and pray. Not an obligation per se but something like a trend cuz everybody is going so i go too! At a very young age, i learned how to pray the rosary and devote myself into a novena. I had this notion that i'm gonna get the things i asked for through prayers. Well, in a sense it is true but as a kid back then the things i desire are mostly material things. Ooopppss! Dont judge me as materialistic yet.. i'm just a kid back then!


Three decades later, i still say "my name is Shirley and i am a Christian!"

But the difference is now I chose to be one. I chose to remain a Christian. And I’m very blessed to be given the grace of knowing it. When i say i am a Christian, I’m not saying i am holy but I’m admitting that i am a sinner who needs Jesus Christ to save me. I’m not shouting I’m strong but I’m whispering I’m weak and that I am receiving strength from God to hold me together. I am flawed but Jesus accepted me for who I am with all my imperfections. I was once lost but HE found me and took me in HIS house. I still feel pain and everyday life is not easy but HE is helping me to go through it and live a full life in spite of all the odds. I still desire for things but I now know what things really matters. Once in a while I stumble and fall but I don’t feel inadequate cuz I know my Jesus will just laugh at me from a distance telling me “it’s okay my child! You get up and move on”. I failed for so many times but HE helped me succeed in most important areas of my life.

Looking back, I realized God has always been there for me. I am not aware of it then but Jesus took care of me. I may not be the most successful person in the whole world. I don’t have the fame and money everyone desires. I have only a few things on my plate. But Jesus made sure those few things are the essential things I would need to appreciate who I am right now.

I am not perfect! I feel pain and too inadequate at times! But I always feel loved by Jesus giving me this wonderful peace that no matter what happens I will always be the child HE longs for!

So I gladly say “my name is Shirley and I am a Christian!”

boobsie

Boobsie describes someone with big boobs. I came to use this word more often to regard a guy with more muscles in his boobs than his body. It's so funny how guys react whenever u call them with this tag name. Hehehe.

I've come to know this one guy a few months ago to whom i used this tagline a lot. He used to laugh at it. And somehow i cannot read whether he's taking it lightly or seriously. Well, i do hope its the latter cuz its not that serious really. It's just my own way of being extremely comfortable with anyone. I am too comfortable that i dont worry of being misunderstood nor being cursed cuz i used "boobsie" tagline. I do know that whatever code i used i will always be appreciated. He will see my creativity rather than my wickedness and my warmth rather than my insensitivity.

So next time i call u Boobsie! Just smile back at me and im definitely will be fine. You can laugh at me too!

a good start

Writing almost anything that comes to my mind is like a habit for me. I'm not sure how much i've written since i started doing that. I lost track of them cuz i never had a decent way or lets say systematic way of keeping them. It's like this: thoughts are coming to this prickle little head of mine, next thing i'll try to grasp paper and pen whenever available, then i'll just keep it somewhere bounded to be forgotten the following day. So u see! I never care keeping them all. I needed something systematic to keep my thoughts safe.

Thanks to my friend Pam cuz im gonna have a good start here!!